What Defines Me

The lettering that teachers bring their students after test

dispels a myth, much to their wit

they didn’t do their best.

A student’s grade so oft displays 

triumphant bold decree:

Victor or victorious 

vs plain mediocrity.

But, to the dismay of those who lay

beside their books pre-test

it just may be - the letter "C" – 

is, perhaps, ‘their best.'

Yet, a "C" does not define me

It only serves to try me

to gain attention of a higher grade.

It whittles and it tries me 

and often does it buy me

extra tension to a stress filled day.

Still, a "C" will never thrill me

Hardly will it kill me

and herein is the element of pride:

For my "C' will just afford me 

Vanilla mediocrity,

A place wherein I choose not to abide.

                                  ~*~

Acts 17:28 For in him we live, and move, and have our being . . . 

This poem-type essay was written while I was struggling with self-worth as a college student; an example of how, despite constant studying and tutoring, the grade – the elusive golden ring I reached for but never received, the elusive “A”, was always beyond my studious efforts.  I did, however, make a passing grade. 

It was a simple ‘C.’   

While striving to achieve high grades shows a mark of excellence, to seek status or approval through this singular self-imposed world view, will always leave you feeling disappointedly inadequate. Anytime someone uses a world view template overlaying a Christ given principle, i.e.  ‘straight A’s equal acceptance/greatness/respect’ – the outcome will fall flat. 

When we move from a world view of how worth is achieved, and look to the scriptures, we see self-value is derived from God’s spirit. 

I am ENOUGH because HE is enough. 

In him (Jesus Christ) we have our being. 

Plainly said, In Him, I have my being.  

I have worth. 

I have value. 

You are more than ‘average’ because HE was (and still is) more than average. Our material worth – position, title, conferred degree, or educational status, what we have or don’t have, truly doesn’t define us. 

Jesus Christ is, by definition the embodiment of value. He alone is what humanity needs; what you need. He alone brings worth and support in any crisis, current or post Pandemic. 

If you’re feeling a little disheartened Friend, never forget that you live, move, and have your being – your TRUE essence, in the nature of Jesus Christ.  I offer you peace, hope and comfort through His great name. 

Eternal life is defined through Jesus Christ. 

                                                                        1 Cor 15: 1-4  

Checkmate

      

Carefully she moves her piece across the board

Breathing in, she awaits his turn

She watches the effort he puts forth

Winning is everything to him, defining.

He calculates little before his move,

his interests vested in other pleasures

Blinded by pride he proceeds carelessly   

with smug demeanor, anticipating triumph.

She takes her last turn, slides her piece slowly into place

And rises to announce

check mate.

She. is. done.

Photo cred:@Hailey Lesage

Judges 3: 15 . . .When the children of Israel cried out unto the Lord, the Lord raised up a deliverer.

Just when you think your opponent has an advantage - perhaps even won, God will come to your aid with the full weight of justice each and every time you've been wronged; he takes note when unjust actions cause hurt or pain on the innocent.  God hears every cry, and balances the scales of fairness and retribution accordingly. At His time. As He sees fit. 

There are times when we find ourselves in situations where our disobedience or willfulness has grieved God to the point of disciplinary action, as he did with the Israelites. Time and again they danced around obedience, toeing the line then abandoning commandments, statutes, and teachings - offering oblations to other gods and intermarrying after the Lord had told them not to. 

However, our heavenly Father is true to himself and despite recurring acts of sinfulness, when the Israelites cried out in desperation, he continued to show forgiveness, mercy, and grace. 

Consider the story of King Eglon, he ruled over Moab. He smote Israel, enslaving them eighteen for years. Yes, this was due to their own poor choices, however, there is something about the repentant cry of a wounded heart that bends the ear of God like nothing else. God heard the pleas of his people and sought to settle the score. 

Chosen by the Israelites and saddled with a gift, for King Eglon, Ehud had been instructed by God on how to bring Israel a reprieve. Scripture doesn't offer details of the Israelites' gift to King Eglon, however, Ehud used this opportunity to his advantage. 

Perhaps King Eglon thought his meeting with Ehud would further set him further apart from the rest of kings in the land, honoring him - promoting him. Maybe in his own mind King Eglon thought he couldn’t be overtaken, or that he’d already triumphed. But that’s where the story turns.  

Ehud gave the king his present from Israelites then turned and offered his own. 

It had never occurred to King Eglon that God would use Ehud's unlikely ‘gift’ to accomplish his will and grant peace to the Israelites for another eighty years!

 My friend, if you’re struggling right now, remember God uses the unusual to surprise our enemy and bring us victory . . . just like the surprise ‘Checkmate’ from a left handed swordsman named Ehud. 

I Believe

I believe in the power of the Holy Ghost

I believe in the power of the cross

I believe in the blood of Jesus Christ,

It can save those who are utterly lost.

I believe in redemptive salvation

I believe in the working of faith

I believe in transformation

It’s truly a gift of grace.   

I believe in the overcoming

I believe in the blood of the Lamb

I believe in the resurrection

I believe in the Great I AM.

I believe He alone can save us

I believe He alone can heal

I believe He brings forgiveness

It’s His love that is true and real.

I believe in his holy power

I believe in unmerited grace

I believe in a God who loves me

And prepared a heavenly place.   

I believe in the guiding Holy Ghost 

When I’m filled with heartache and loss

I believe in the blood of Jesus

And the wonderful work of the cross.

                I believe. 

So many voices speak to our minds over multiple platforms these days. Images, words, soundbites, music. All of these enter our subconscious - infusing parts of themselves, bending our current beliefs to embrace counterculture; over time, and with vast consumption of news articles and social media, truths which were once ours will seed alternate outcomes in a life not rooted in a strong belief system.

Peter. the fiery disciple who swore he’d never deny the Lord, but later did, was passionate about his knowledge of Jesus. Said plainly, Peter understood who Jesus was in his life and in those around him because he spent time with the Word. (John 1:14) 

To Peter, Jesus was not Elias, or John the Baptist, or any other prophet as some said. He had witnessed far too much to confine Jesus to the title of ordinary human being. Jesus math skills alone would have serious VCs knocking, having witnessed his “yield of return” when He prayed over the loaves and fish! 

Add the miracle from the wedding at Cana, a few other observations of demonic deliverance, plus Peter himself walking on water at the beckoning of Christ, and you have a heart rooted in understanding His place. That was Peter.

Though his mistakes are blatantly obvious in the scripture, what is not often written about is Peter's unmistakable understanding of truth; a seed planted as he spent time in and out of towns following Jesus.  And to this end, Jesus confirmed Peter’s assumption.

Mark 16:15, 16  

Jesus speaking to Peter . . . But whom do ye say that I am? And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou are the Christ,  the Son of the living God. 

Dear friend, if you’re struggling with life issues, trying to piece it all together between sound bites from Podcasts or audio clips offering partial truths but don’t deliver solid life changing solutions, allow me to offer you real truth: Jesus.  

Jesus is the Christ. The Son of the Living God. His word will change your life.

He alone forgives, heals and saves. 

Peter knew this.

And you can too. 

Wounded Heart

A wounded heart beats 

beneath concealed bones

metered hurt pulses

                                                                                                   

Invisible pain - fresh tattoo 

Sear mark of the soul.

No regard, they who wound

Iced smugness 

Whet knives.

A wounded heart 

Softly pumping

Bleeds out metered hurt.                                                                                             

Photo cred@sherryarthur

It may be easy for a human heart to understand and even deflect an insensitive remark or rude comment from someone we hardly know. We may convince ourselves “it doesn’t bother me” because we have no relational investment in the person.  

By the same token someone close to us, perhaps a fun coworker, someone who makes life easier with silly re-tweets, Tiktok sharing, or commandeering a Starbucks run, just might say or do something off the cuff -- even hurtful, and, BAM! A spiral of emotions ices the friendship for a few days. 

Sound faintly familiar? Let's unpack why humans react when pain comes into our lives.

Psalms 55:12  . . . For it was not my enemy that reproached me, then I could have borne it.

David was familiar with taunting, acquainted with pain imposed upon him when he was in battle, perhaps even accepting it as part of life.  He endured offenses and even expected to be hurt from his enemy. But it is David's remark, “if it was my enemy – then I could have borne it," which offers a glimpse into our own hearts, when we too are hurt by close friends or family.

In modern terms, David worshipped together with a buddy, considering him a friend, yet experienced betrayal and rejection. And when it came to understanding the offence, David was surprised at how much it hurt. He wasn't prepared, perhaps hadn't considered the battle of: "What should I do when hurtful remarks come from a church buddy, or a close friend?" 

One of the biggest devices the enemy wields to destroy relationships is birthed by hurt and pain. Pain left unchecked, breeds unforgiveness and bitterness.  

My friend, this is not how God designed relationships. His best design was demonstrated when he gave up his life – his gift to you. His entire life is all about restoration and unity. David's example of friendship shows us the 'how' to move forward when we experience hurt. He identified the source of his pain and offered it unto the Lord.

To know the source of contention and division in this world, is to know the source of a wounded heart: What’s behind it, what drives the unforgiveness and bitterness? How do I eradicate it? 

The book The Bait of Satan is one of many great resources available showcasing our enemy’s devices. It uncovers many lies and tools Satan uses to sow discord. Coupled with prayer, this easy-to-read resource will help you live in harmony with your friends, church family and coworkers. 

Lastly, if you’ve been hurt, if you’re currently carrying pain in your heart over an offense, I urge you to pray. Ask God to heal the hurt, ask Him to help you to ‘see the other person' as He sees them. Pray for the person who hurt you and ask for restoration and unity in your friendship again. If you still feel you’re at an impasse, then seek counsel and discuss your feelings with a Pastor, or a mentor.   

God truly cares about your hurt and wants to help you let it go. 

                                                                                                    @theawkwardyeti

Crystal Gems

Crystal gems

surround his feet.

Sunlight ricochets prisms

translucent sparkles

d*

         a

n*

       c  

 e*

Specks of glitter

wind driven, fly

then fall

e

  v

   e

     r    so gently.

A downward cast

reveals treasure;

unspoken prayers crystalize:

fear

worry

doubt

heartache

Spiritual coal

under pressure

reveal crystal gems

ready, 

gift worthy,

to pour at His feet.

1 Samuel 1: 10, 11, 13. . . and she was in bitterness of soul and prayed unto the Lord nd wept sore . . . only her lips moved for she spake in her heart.

Prayer: private conversations shared between your heart and God. 

Some prayers are simply articulated agreements, affirmations to attest that ‘yes,’ I prayed and agree with you on that subject. 

Some prayers are recited, memorized, spoken easily as if in native language. And yet, there are prayers – gut wrenching, agonizing, tear-staining-the-dusty-floor prayers which come from the most desperate place of our being.

These prayers, like those of Hannah’s, show an intense desire of the human soul to connect with God, to hear from Him and to know he has heard our prayer. 

As she was praying, Hannah offered God ‘her coal,’ pouring her tears out as she petitioned. Her prayer wasn’t selfish: the gift she’d asked for was to be returned, i.e. given back to the Lord. 

Unknown to Hannah at that time, her ‘coal’ would ultimately become a ‘crystal gem’ in the hands of the Lord. 

Friend, you have no idea what gems the Lord is creating out of the tears you’ve shed in prayer. My hope for you is that you are encouraged today in knowing how He hears our prayers, takes our pain, and makes it beautiful. 

Wilderness

                                                                               

Distant.

So far away, your voice gives

No direction. No affirmation.

Numb.

What I feel, no emotion 

No true depth. No connection.

Silence.

All around me, voices -

You speak not. 

Waiting.

In the stillness, I wonder

To continue. No direction.

~ I am here. 

                                                      Acts 17: 24 – 27 

VS 27: That they should seek the Lord if haply they might feel after him . . 

Jonah. Elisha. David. A specific theme among these biblical characters surfaces when we exam their lives. Each had a specific task. Each completed their task. But somehow during the course of their assignment they found themselves in a ‘wilderness,’ the murky unknown, when what you see or can’t see doesn’t add up. It’s kind of like the game you played as a kid at a birthday party where you reach into a dark cloth bag and, and while your arm is still partially submerged, you feel around for an object and guess what it is. There are varying ways of how to play this game, but you get the point: guessing the outcome of something you cannot see. 

Oftentimes we want the ‘end of a thing’ before it’s even half over, before God is finished teaching us what He wants us to learn. That’s when trouble happens. No one enjoys re-taking a test after failing the first time. Among other things Jonah learned obedience, Elisha learned humility, and David learned patience. These truths didn’t come easy or quickly. 

Often our lessons aren’t easily seen (remember the cloth bag game?) Sometimes we need to ‘feel our way’ while we’re in the wilderness . . . But take heart.  The same God who formed the world, the nations, and set boundaries in place calls us to seek him – to feel after him, (and to remember) he is not far from us. 

He knows our outcome, its timing - the end of the thing. 

*Best not to rush the wilderness test. (Remember the Israelites’ 40-year lesson?)

A Look Through Time

                                                

   

The steel blade approaches, 

wooing a cadaver from 

the gray metal table.

Alphabetic artistry opens

its chest cavity. 

Filleted – exposed.

A transparency known 

only to the dead,

carefully extracted secrets

lay barren.

Memory by memory.

Tear by tear. 

Hurt by hurt

skillfully removed,

weighed and balanced.

In the shadows lie 

a reminder of what was. 

What is kept is truth: 

incision,

extraction, 

removal,

 loss.

              1 Thess 4: 13-18  . . . wherefore comfort one another with these words.

In this present life, death presents a stark reality, perhaps even a brutal finality, taking all joy and hope -and offering what remains as its final destination; a life shrouded in fear. Death’s wake may trigger insurmountable sadness and uncertainty. It’s hard for people to see anything positive, any hopeful outcome, when dreams are pinned on people, possessions, and passions of this world. 

My friend, life hand will hand you attractive, yet life sucking elements to enjoy - but they'll leave you empty, eventually decay, and one day be no more.

As Christians we are IN this world but not OF this world; our mindset is and should be - entirely different! We shouldn’t be afraid of death, stake our life’s outcome in government leaders, or policy, but in the unshakable truth of God’s word. 

 If by some chance you aren’t familiar with the Hope I’m referring to, I encourage you to reach out (to me) for further discussion and clarity so that when you come to the end of life, when you take your last breath, you're not filled with dread or fearfulness, but with the wonderful knowledge of where your journey has brought you: into the loving arms of your heavenly Father. 

The Gospel offers hope, love, and everlasting life rooted in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. 

I pray you experience this Hope and embrace the peace that only He can give.